Thanks. Isnt it nice to be able just people watch. I was on a trip last year. Trekking in Patagonia. 15 minutes into a 4 hour hike I knew I wasn’t going to make it or enjoy it. So I told the guide that I would remain where I was, and 4 hours later they returned. Those 4 hours were great. Spent it watching all kinds of things I would have missed because I was hiking. You never know what you will experience. But like you, the first step was recognizing and deciding. Btw - you might find this interesting or not. I was bounced from Reddit because of the comments made by im_just_lurking_thx. I write these things based on my own experiences. and to be honest I do use Grammarly to correct my grammar and spelling and I see that as a positive to make certain I respect the readers by having polished material not frought with improper punctuation ect. These posts are using words to help others put a “name” to things. I find it helps for me.
I’ve read clinical, sterile, structured descriptions of the phenomenon you describe. But this is the first time I’ve ever read a description that is so RELATABLE! You make real the subtle, daily struggles.
Thanks for the kind words. It’s interesting, when a person can put a name to something (not a label) it helps them cope better. Nothing has actually changed physically. But mentally, huge shifts, I have found. And for a lot of this disease is mind games. What in particular Jim resonated with you?
1. The subtle, constant discernment/evaluation of any given task or event and what it might do to my head. I have a hobby I love and participate competitively in. I went to a match one day. All my gear (it’s a lot) was in the car. I just couldn’t participate. My mind couldn’t handle it. I could have forced myself to do it - but I knew I would be “borrowing from tomorrow” as you said - and the thought of that was just too much. My colleagues could not understand my decision to withdraw - even offering to set up my stuff figuring the issue was physical fatigue.
2. Saying “No” with dignity. On a recent trip I spent many hours sitting in the beautiful hotel lobby drinking a beverage. I had my noise cancelling earbuds in listening to music….watching the people. I was not only perfectly happy - but almost ecstatic. I was out in the world after a year filled with doc, lab and radiation appts. To others who hear this they assume I was distressed, sad or some other version of a negative word.
Thanks. Isnt it nice to be able just people watch. I was on a trip last year. Trekking in Patagonia. 15 minutes into a 4 hour hike I knew I wasn’t going to make it or enjoy it. So I told the guide that I would remain where I was, and 4 hours later they returned. Those 4 hours were great. Spent it watching all kinds of things I would have missed because I was hiking. You never know what you will experience. But like you, the first step was recognizing and deciding. Btw - you might find this interesting or not. I was bounced from Reddit because of the comments made by im_just_lurking_thx. I write these things based on my own experiences. and to be honest I do use Grammarly to correct my grammar and spelling and I see that as a positive to make certain I respect the readers by having polished material not frought with improper punctuation ect. These posts are using words to help others put a “name” to things. I find it helps for me.
I’ve read clinical, sterile, structured descriptions of the phenomenon you describe. But this is the first time I’ve ever read a description that is so RELATABLE! You make real the subtle, daily struggles.
Thank you for writing this!
Thanks for the kind words. It’s interesting, when a person can put a name to something (not a label) it helps them cope better. Nothing has actually changed physically. But mentally, huge shifts, I have found. And for a lot of this disease is mind games. What in particular Jim resonated with you?
Two things really resonated with me:
1. The subtle, constant discernment/evaluation of any given task or event and what it might do to my head. I have a hobby I love and participate competitively in. I went to a match one day. All my gear (it’s a lot) was in the car. I just couldn’t participate. My mind couldn’t handle it. I could have forced myself to do it - but I knew I would be “borrowing from tomorrow” as you said - and the thought of that was just too much. My colleagues could not understand my decision to withdraw - even offering to set up my stuff figuring the issue was physical fatigue.
2. Saying “No” with dignity. On a recent trip I spent many hours sitting in the beautiful hotel lobby drinking a beverage. I had my noise cancelling earbuds in listening to music….watching the people. I was not only perfectly happy - but almost ecstatic. I was out in the world after a year filled with doc, lab and radiation appts. To others who hear this they assume I was distressed, sad or some other version of a negative word.